TOP MINISTER CAUGHT IN SHRINE BEWITCHING M7 NOT TO FIRE HIM FROM HIS CABINET POSITION
By Mulengera Reporters
A very senior male Minister from Buganda region was last (Friday) night rescued during a joint security military operation from a witchdoctor’s shrine in Kayunga. The operatives, in a joint operation instigated by the President, raided the famous Kayunga shrine after being (deceptively) told by a whistle blower that there was a huge possibility the men/criminals involved in the killing of Radio Star/UBC Manager Robert Kagolo and his brother were there trying to use magical powers to elude arrest and overcome a large contingent of security operatives who are ruthlessly hunting for them.
Because the shooting dead of Kagolo, a former President of Uganda Journalist Association (UJA) and also an outspoken supporter of the NRM government, came in the aftermath of several incidents involving soldiers clobbering scribes, there has been general nervousness and concern among State House handlers that the state must redeem its image by very quickly having the perpetrators apprehended.
It’s against this background that Gen Museveni, who has already issued a personal apology to media practitioners vowing to ensure such criminal violence never happens to them again, has tasked security agency heads to work day and night and leave no stone unturned until whoever was involved in the twin murder at Mr. Kagolo’s gets unearthed and brought before the law.
Desirous not to let down the man from Rwakitura, who is keenly following the investigations, the security apparatus leadership has been restless and not overlooking any tips they get that can potentially lead to the arrest of the curplits behind the twin murder (Kagolo was shot dead as he returned from Gomba for the burial of his elder brother who had been killed by unknown criminals/abductors a day earlier).
Back to the rescued Minister: So on reaching the Kayunga shrine, where they had been told the murderers and other conspirators were hiding, the heavily armed security operatives forced their way into the shrine only to find that the person who was being ritually cleansed was a minister who had nothing to do with the Kagolo criminals. “He had been totally undressed and his body pierced with blood oozing from everywhere. He was in extreme pain but the witchdoctors who were surrounding him, amidst singing and trumpeting, told him this is what he had to go through to successfully get the President duped to retain him in cabinet,” says a source close to the matter.
The Minister immediately forgot about the pain he was enduring (while repeating certain words mentioning Gen Museveni’s name as he was being instructed by the witchdoctor) and pleaded with the operatives not to humiliate him.
“My dear brothers I beg you to spare me. Don’t humiliate me because besides the media demonization, I’m going to be badly humiliated before my family because I told people at home I would be away for several day on a working trip upcountry and not even my wife knows about this ritual that is being performed on me but it’s all about the political hysteria the impending cabinet reshuffle has caused to many of us the ministers. I’m here to save my job just and not to hurt anyone,” pleaded the Minister who offered to do anything for the rampaging security operatives to ensure that maters aren’t escalate resulting into his evil act being exposed to the wider public. (For comments on this story, call, text or whatsapp us on 0705579994, 0779411734, 0200900416 or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org).